venuspalms:

Isnt it amazing how beautiful people are. Like just look at anyone and study them and their features and how their lips tort and eyes glisten and how their hair falls or sticks or lays. How their eyebrows flex and the way their arms fold, how expressive their hands are. The way their body moves and how their chest rises and falls so subtley with their pulse. People are beautiful even if we dont find them attractive. The fact that they’re a living being is unbelievably magnificent.

(Source: venuspalms)

APHRODITE

oedipusmotherfuckingtyrannus:

ONE OF YOU FUCKERS WANTED SOMETHING ABOUT APHRODITE, SO HERE YOU FUCKING GO. 

HOMER SAYS THAT APHRODITE WAS THE DAUGHTER OF ZEUS AND DIONE, WHICH IS PRETTY FUCKING BORING AND HE SEEMINGLY USED THAT VERSION FOR FUCKING PLOT REASONS (SO APHRODITE COULD GO CRYING TO DADDY ABOUT THE SHITTY LITTLE GREEKS). HESIOD’S VERSION OF HER ORIGIN IS WAY MORE FUN.

THE STORY GOES THAT ONE TIME, OURANOS (THE FUCKING SKY) WAS COMING (EHE) DOWN TO EARTH TO FUCK GAIA (THE FUCKING EARTH). THE TITAN KRONOS (ALSO THEIR FUCKING SON), BEING THE TOTAL ASSHOLE HE IS, DIDN’T WANT TO HAVE MORE ASSHOLE SIBLINGS, AND HAD THE MOST LOGICAL FUCKING REACTION TO SEEING HIS PARENTS FUCK: HE CUT HIS DAD’S GENITALS OFF WITH HIS BADASS SCYTHE.

HE THEN THREW SAID GENITALS INTO THE FUCKING SEA. FUCK RECYCLING. TO EVERYONE’S SURPRISE THE SEA STARTED FOAMING AND THEN APHRODITE SPRUNG OUT MAJESTICALLY, LOOKING AS FUCKING FABULOUS AS YOU WOULD EXPECT THE GODDESS OF LOVE AND BEAUTY TO BE. 

APHRODITE WAS THEN EVENTUALLY MARRIED OFF TO HEPHAESTUS, BUT HE WAS KINDA LIMPY AND SAD SO SHE JUST FUCKED OFF AND HAD SHIT TONNES OF AFFAIRS. HER MOST FAMOUS ONE IS WITH ARES, HOT ASS GOD OF WAR. HEPHAESTUS WAS PRETTY FUCKING PISSED OFF ABOUT THIS SO ONE TIME HE MADE A BOOBY-TRAPPED BED AND LEFT IT FOR APHRODITE AND ARES TO FUCK ON. THEY WERE ABOUT TO GET GOING THEN HEPHAESTUS PRESSED THE FUCKING LEVER AND THE COUPLE WERE TRAPPED NAKED IN GOLD CHAINS. FUCKING KINKY. THEN ALL THE OTHER GODS CAME OVER TO FUCKING LAUGH AT THEM (AND BE JEALOUS OF ARES).

neoliberalismkills:

wilclcat:

victor-f-baby:

ectobiolosassy:

crazieecatladyy:

how to get the d

  • image

i think i don’t want it anymore

as a math person i will give the D to any girl that can solve this. 

as a girl ‘math person’ i will tell you that you can’t solve this as there are no x or y values as it is only a formula and not a question plus we wouldn’t want the d from you anyway

I’ve never seen someone so efficiently shut down in my entire fucking life

turbochargedhysterics:

krakkenchaos:

swindontownswoodilypooper:

petrovasinspace:

f-i-v-e-byfive:

thesixtysevenchevyimpala:

ilovecountryeverything:

titaniumbovine:

peaceroxi:

steveisoncrack:

HEY TUMBLR, LET’S PLAY A GAME

To play this game, go to MapCrunch, select “hide location”, make sure you have all countries unselected, and click go. What this will do is drop you in a random part of the world. It’s as if you woke up on the side of a road in an unfamiliar country. The goal of the game is to find your way to an airport so you can return home. 

Bonus Hard Mode: No using outside sources, and that includes using google maps to figure out your location from signs or landmarks

…I had plans today but now.

THE AIRPORT GAME IS BACK.

FUCK THIS GAME

LAST TIME I PLAYED IT DUMPED ME IN THE MOUNTAINS OF NORWAY

I PLAYED FOR LIKE 8 HOURS BEFORE BREAKING DOWN CRYING

OMG NO STOP THIS GAME IS MY LIFE!!!

IT’S BACK

WHY IS THIS BACK

WHYYYYY

oh shit

image

I HAVEN’T USED THIS GIF SINCE FEBRUARY

Always reblog Mapcrunch when someone tries to bring it back

…it dropped me in my hometown.

Um…

(Source: epochayur)

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